Where My Demons Hide
by IsummonDemonsinyourcloset
Summary: This is a fic on the thoughts going through Sebastians head in COG just after Jace stabs him. Based on the song by Imagine Dragons, I don't own it. Rated T for coarse language and sexual refernces. Clace and a little bit of Cleb (Or Clabastian whatever you call it, I don't ship it though). One shot. I may continue with someone else like Max.


_When the days are cold and the cards all fold and the saints we see are all made of gold._

_Clary._

That backstabbing (Literally) angel-boy killed me. Great. Master plan gone wrong. I should have killed him while he was tied up, when I had the chance. And now I wouldn't get to see her again.

_Clary._

_When your dreams all fail and the ones we hail are the worst of all and the bloods run stale._

Angel-boy had said I only wanted her because I was part demon, that I didn't love her. But I did. I do. People would say it was un-natural, disgusting, they would be sickened by us, but I thought we were meant for each other.

_I wanna hide the truth I wanna shelter you, but with the beast inside there's nowhere we can hide._

If I wasn't half demon I think I would love her to the extent of my knowledge. Maybe if I wasn't a monster, she might love me back. But that's not possible anymore. I floating in a void of darkness, only the lacing of pain up my back and my thoughts are keeping me awake.

_No matter what we breed we still are made of greed, this is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come._

And it's not just that I love her, I want her. Need her. Need to hear her, sense her with me, touch her. Need to feel her touch in return. Now I never would.

_When you feel my heat look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide._

He, her lover whom didn't deserve her, had taken away our likely future. I could have been with her. I could have had her. Why was she the perfect one? The innocent one, the helpless one, although innocent in both ways, I assume. If I could still move I would have smirked. She was perfect for me and I for her. If only I wasn't half demon.

_Don't get too close, it's dark inside, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide._

If she had come with me, the night of the attack, she would have been happy with me. Valentine only thought that I wanted her here so she would give us the book of the white. Stupid, failure of a father, he was probably dead too. I want to know what I would have been like, had I not been half demon?

_When the curtains call it's the last of all when the lights fade out all the sinners crawl_

I would probably be like her, just not more angelic than most. I would have been nice, charming, likable, probably shy and I would still love her, just love her more certainly. Know it wasn't just because I was part demon, that it wasn't just lust that wanted her, that I really, truly loved her.

_So they dug your grave and the masquerade will come calling out at the mess you've made._

Now she would watch me be burned. Not see me as her partner, the only person that truly deserved her. She would watch my body turn to ashes. _Pulvis et umbra sumus. We are dust and shadows._ She would not see me as I wanted her to see me as. She would see me as a murderer that deserved this fate.

_I wanna let you down but I am hell bound, though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth._

And angel-boy would laugh. He would smile and take her. He would use her. He didn't love her. Could never love her as I did. As I do. He had killed me in cold blood hadn't he? How could she love him? How had he convinced her he loved her? How?

_No matter what we breed we still are made of greed, this is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come._

True, no one was perfect. Not even her. How could she love that bitch she called her mother? _Our _mother. The woman had abandoned me before my 1st birthday. How could she have loved me at all? She had fought, said the only reason she left was because she thought I was dead. The words that the angel had shown the two angel children echoed in my head.

"_Jonathan isn't even a baby anymore! He's a monster!"_

What kind of mother said that?

_When you feel my heat look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide._

And also, she hated me. Called me a murderer, a bastard, a crazy. I believed in us but she wouldn't. Didn't want to be with me, said it was impossible and that she didn't want to. How could she? We belong together.

_Don't get too close it's dark inside, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demos hide._

She didn't understand. She would learn to love me. Or she would have, had her lover not stabbed me. What did she see in him?

_They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate, I woven in my soul I need to let you go. Your eyes they shine so bright, I wanna save that light, I can't escape this now, unless you show me how!_

At least before he had killed me I had kissed her. She had been pretty good, too. It was the one time when I had let down my guard, let my mask slip, let her see the real me for just a second. I wanted more than anything to see her again.

_When you feel my heat, look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide._

I wish to see her one last time, her emerald eyes, shining at me, to see them full of awe, love, lust, desire, hunger. I wanted her to be mine. And yet one small part of me said that that was wrong. I should not be that kind of brother.

_Don't get to close its dark inside, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide._

Maybe she would have liked me more.

_Clary._

**So, what do you think? This is what I thought was going through Sebastian's head when he was floating down the river after Jace had stabbed him. I don't usually write stuff like this, and I actually found myself feeling sorry for him, I wanted to cry. Yes I did get a little incest-y at the end but that wasn't the point. I don't own Demons, Imagine Dragons do. Pleas review, I want to know what you think.**

**Yours Truly, Gemma!**


End file.
